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Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to givethis thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.Am I wrong?So, there I sat! in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.The directions said that:a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; anda three-second burst would. The bar smelled of stale beer. Looking around, I saw the walls were decorated with beer signs and posters, even though they did not sell alcohol. The bar was a u-shape around the main room, with a platform in the middle with two shiny poles extending to the ceiling, and multicolored lights aimed down from the top. The back room I had walked through coming in had a half dozen beat-up easy chairs arranged around the outside. I spotted a door marked “Office” and heard a voice I recognized as Bill’s. He was evidently talking on the phone. I knocked on the door. Bill barked, “Come on in!” He was a big man with long grey hair flowing around his ears and the back of his head, and completely bald on top. He had a full grey beard, and the leather vest, teeshirt, jeans and motorcycle boots that told me the trike out behind the bar was his. His face was deeply tanned, freckled and weather-beaten, which made his startling light blue eyes stand out like light bulbs. He told the person he was.
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